{"id":5700,"date":"2018-03-29T21:47:28","date_gmt":"2018-03-30T05:47:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/?p=5700"},"modified":"2018-03-29T21:51:27","modified_gmt":"2018-03-30T05:51:27","slug":"10000-uses-29","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/10000-uses-29\/","title":{"rendered":"10,000 Uses #29"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n<h5>Week 29: ** it Happens.<\/h5>\n<p>Never thought I&#8217;d see the day where we were self-censoring in the interest of <em>Good Taste<\/em>.\u00a0 Mind you, we could have blamed the submitter while we sat back and giggled the day away in a veritable pile of euphemisms and poopy puns&#8230; but NO! \u00a0 Your pals at One Pass took the high road and brought you this very helpful tip without resorting to grotesque graphics or immature fecal based humor.\u00a0 It&#8217;s a proud day.<\/p>\n<p>So with our newfound professionalism and\u00a0 a staunch sense of decorum, let me paint you a picture:<\/p>\n<p>Little Augustus is a toddler. Augustus is potty training. Because it&#8217;s easier for Augustus to &#8220;prepare for departure&#8221; without extra layers, he wasn&#8217;t wearing underwear, only his loose fitting shorts.<\/p>\n<p>Agustus got roughly half way through the kitchen before Mother Nature politely explained to him that there was not enough time to make the water closet.<\/p>\n<p>Fun fact: Toddler pull up shorts do not a poo container make.<\/p>\n<p>It should also be noted that Agustus evacuates like a man who has been on a diet of fiber, sausage, cheese, sausage, broccoli, sausage and kale for seven weeks.\u00a0 Do you see where we&#8217;re headed with this or do we have to spell it out?<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s a soupy steamer on the kitchen floor. An impressive one given the lad&#8217;s relative size and age.<\/p>\n<p>At any rate, now was a great time to have a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/product\/floorblade\/\">One Pass Floor Blade<\/a> in the cleaning arsenal. One wouldn&#8217;t use a broom for this kind of a mess and our floor blade rinses clean easily&#8230; even if you feel compelled to do it outside with the garden hose! Even <em>Bounty<\/em> &#8220;The Quicker Picker Upper&#8221; didn&#8217;t seem like the best way to deal with little Auggie&#8217;s dynamic deuce (use your imagination).<\/p>\n<p>Congrats Augustus!\u00a0 Your little log jam may just win your folks a new Flat Panel TV &#8217;cause their photo submission got them extra entries into our weekly prize giveaway even though we opted not to show it*. For everyone else,\u00a0<a href=\"\/us\/enter-to-win\/\">Subscribe<\/a>, <a href=\"\/us\/enter-to-win\/\">share<\/a>, <a href=\"\/us\/enter-to-win\/\">follow<\/a>, or <a href=\"\/us\/enter-to-win\/\">post<\/a> and you&#8217;re entered into our weekly giveaway too because we are not above shameless bribery. Tomorrow night we pull a name that wins a FREE Smart TV, so <a href=\"\/us\/enter-to-win\/\">Signup Now!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m so glad we didn&#8217;t stoop to potty humor and risk offending one of our (sadly few) readers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>*For now.\u00a0 We&#8217;re just going to hold onto it until Auggie has a job. Then we&#8217;ll be happy to sell it back to him.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Week 29: ** it Happens. Never thought I&#8217;d see the day where we were self-censoring in the interest of Good Taste.\u00a0 Mind you, we could have blamed the submitter while we sat back and giggled the day away in a veritable pile of euphemisms and poopy puns&#8230; but NO! \u00a0 Your pals at One [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5701,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":[],"categories":[469],"tags":[441,478],"yst_prominent_words":[],"featured_image_src":{"landsacpe":["https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10K-29-1140x445.jpg",1140,445,true],"list":["https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10K-29-463x348.jpg",463,348,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10K-29-300x169.jpg",300,169,true],"full":["https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/10K-29.jpg",1280,720,false]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5700"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5700"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5700\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5706,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5700\/revisions\/5706"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5700"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.waterblade.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=5700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}